When Being Right Feels Bad Too

At recess one day, me and a couple of my friends were all gathered in one section of the playground. After a bit, they started talking about another girl in our class. They were saying things that were unkind that they wouldn’t say to her face.

At first I just listened. But it kept going, and something about it didn’t feel right. I felt really sad that they were doing that and so I stepped up and said, “You guys, we shouldn’t be gossiping.” One of the girls in the group, said, “We’re not. We’re just talking.” I felt sad and alone in that moment.

Thankfully, a close friend stepped up too and said, “Ellie’s right. We shouldn’t be talking about this.”

That’s when I said, “You know what? I’m going to go to the field.” And I left. The friend who’d agreed with me followed.

I felt proud of myself and sad that my friends were talking like that. I thought standing up for what’s right would feel good. It kind of did. But it also felt lonely, like I’d left part of my friends behind to do it. When I look back on it, I still feel surprised. My friends aren’t usually like that, or at least I didn’t think they were.

That night I told my parents what had happened. My mom said she got a text from another friend’s mom, about how she’d told her mom what I said. My parents were proud.

A few months later, the girl we’d been talking about came over for dinner with her family. We all had a talk about how a lot of the girls hadn’t been nice to her. I told her I was sorry for what she’d been going through.

But then she said something I wasn’t expecting. She said she felt like I hadn’t always been nice to her either. That was hard to hear, because I thought I had been. After we talked more, I figured out what she meant. I didn’t always want to play the games she wanted to play at recess, and I think that made her feel left out, even though I wasn’t trying to make her feel that way.

So I guess I learned two things. One is that doing the right thing is worth it, even if you’re the only one doing it. The other is that sometimes you can hurt someone without knowing it, and it’s good to find out so you can make it right.

I thank God I was able to stand up for my friend. And I’m glad I got to say sorry too.